I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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