weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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