Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
