Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
