that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
