Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
