JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
