Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
