haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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