but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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