My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
