I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
