Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
