please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
