It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
