just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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