No awkward lesbian experiences without me
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
