I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
