omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
