you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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