My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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