I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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