he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I need moral support for this bender
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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