I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
