Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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