The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
