Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
well you can't waste a boner
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
