Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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