i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
