my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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