He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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