Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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