WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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