True but thats because hes a fetus.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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