My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
