i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
