And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
