Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize