I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My liver just had a heart attack.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
