Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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