Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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