She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
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