remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
