you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
