i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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