Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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