The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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