We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
