Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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