I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
