the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
