I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
