Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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