This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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