she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
