Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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