I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
