He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
