Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
